Saturday, October 4, 2008

HORROR EPICS: Phantom of the Paradise

Regular readers of these posts might recall a review I wrote of a video titled Terror in the Aisles, which was a string of different clips from a variety of horror movies over the years. One of the more bizarre clips was of a guy with a wacky metal facemask attacking another dude in the shower while ranting some nonsense about his music and shit. Well, after some detective work, I figured out that said clip was from Phantom of the Paradise and I of course had to see what this metal face thing was all about, so here we go. And man, talk about an hour and a half of my life that I wouldn't mind getting back! Directed by Brian DePalma, this is a movie that has a hard time figuring out if it's supposed to be A) a horror movie, B) a glam rock Phantom of the Opera, or C) some kinda retarded knockoff of The Rocky Horror Picture Show a year before it actually came out. Nerdy songwriter guy Winston Leach comes up with an opera, but his work gets stolen by Swan, who intends to add a glam rock theme and not give Leach his due credit. Swan also has total control over the music industry and public taste due to a deal he cut with the devil himself, so Leach can be as pissed about not getting a royalty check as he wants and it doesn't really matter. Leach somehow gets his face stuck in a record press (don't ask me how, I stopped paying that much attention well before then), puts on the wacky metal mask, and goes about haunting Swan's music house, the Paradise. There's also a subplot that involves Leach being head over heels in love with a singer played by Jessica Harper from Suspiria, but whatever. As bad as this movie is, there are some aspects that are okay, if not legit hilarious. All I will say is that the character known as "Beef," is by far the biggest glam fag since I don't know when, and his unveiling is quite priceless. Unfortunately, you have to sit through a lot of garbage to get to him, so I'd recommend that you get as drunk as I did when watching Jaws: The Revenge on TV years back if you're going to check this out. You might enjoy it then, which is probably why the only people that seem to get into Phantom of the Paradise are jackass irony hipsters.


Madame Enfer said...

I'm... stunned. You're an idiot. A rude idiot who doesn't know how to write a review, at that. Rock on.

The Evil Eye said...

You are SO right! Thank you so much for the insight; my life has improved by leaps and bounds thanks to you.