Friday, October 9, 2009

HORROR EPICS: Friday the 13th (1980)

Ah, the granddaddy of ‘em all…if you forget how much it borrows from Halloween, that is. Despite that, this movie ran the slasher genre into the ground by spawning legions of clones throughout the 1980s. I must admit that I lack the longtime connection with Friday the 13th, not having grown up watching it the way most horror film buffs probably have. So I wrote it off when I finally saw it, and probably didn’t give it a fair chance. However, my most recent trip to Camp Crystal Lake was an enjoyable one. After seeing a decent amount of today’s horror movies, it’s nice to return to simpler times for an older flick that does not attempt to hide from what it is. After being closed for more than twenty years, a group of teenagers arrive to re-open Camp Crystal Lake, despite warnings of a “death curse” by local weirdoes. Rather than do any actual work like good Americans, these kids opt to get stoned, run around in their underwear, and have sex like a bunch of goddamned hippies. You know what comes next, of course. One by one, an unseen maniac picks off the no-good druggie teens with an array of sharp objects. What more do you need? Character development? Forget it, bub. They’re teenagers. Their primary purpose in life is being hacked to death in movies like this. Especially when one of them is young Kevin Bacon with an arrowhead shoved through his throat. What’s the matter, this movie doesn’t tickle your intellect? It isn’t supposed to, genius. You might as well make peace with that fact now. Despite the imitators rendering it less effective, Friday the 13th is good brainless fun if you allow it to be. Now shut up and watch the lambs lead themselves to slaughter. As for the countless sequels, I might consider reviewing them too if I’m feeling masochistic enough in the future. Aren’t you the lucky ones?

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