Friday, December 25, 2009

The Blaze of Incompetence

It is Christmas Day and I hate you. I want you to do what so many weak-minded fools do on Christmas and kill yourself. Wash down a bottle of sleeping pills with a gallon of whiskey. Blow your head off with your father’s shotgun. Leap off the tallest building in town, or maybe just step in front of a moving subway train. Sharpen up a straight razor and cut your own throat. Hang yourself with a fuckin’ belt. Spend your rent money on heroin and slam the whole load into your veins. Everything you’ve tried to accomplish in this life has been one massive failure after another. Stop breathing our air. You serve no purpose. Nobody gives a shit about you. You’re worthless. Don’t even bother leaving a note explaining your hasty exit from this existence. Nobody is going to read it anyway.

Few, if any, stoner/doom bands come off as the genuine article to me nowadays. The impression I get is that the band members were probably ex-emo kids and indie rockers before they turned 25 and finally figured out that legit rocker girls are more fun to hang out with than prudish emo chicks. Which is fine, but I personally prefer bands of this nature to evoke feelings of drug-fueled violence and hatred. Although this approach admittedly became a silly cliché by the decade’s end, the 1990s boasted a TON of great bands that played slow as molasses and dished out hatred for themselves and everything around them in spades. None of this shit about girls in tube tops on skateboards was allowed…unless they had drugs and a warm bed to share. Like Grief once said, “if it’s too slow, you’re too happy.”

Now, I’ll admit that I never took the whole “self-hate core” thing all that seriously. It just didn’t seem like a very productive way to live. But we all go through times where it just doesn’t seem worth it to continue living. When the real world seems too harsh to deal with. And sinking into a drug-addled pit of despair sounds more attractive than working on and solving our problems. It’s easier when you don’t have to give a shit about anyone, especially your friends and loved ones. Everybody’s going to die eventually, so who cares? Right?

Blaze of Incompetence by 16 has always been one of my favorite albums to crank up super loud when I find myself in that mindset. It always had an effect on me that I found interesting. The music itself had enough of a groove to keep my heart beating. But the lyrics would always succeed in making me feel even worse about whatever situation was bothering me at the time. Although it might seem strange to say it, that’s what I often needed. At least I was feeling something. And sometimes it’s best to just go so far to one extreme that you come full circle and find yourself back where you needed to be.

I don’t know how much of that made a lick of sense. But the point of this post is that it’s Christmas and I don’t want you to be happy about it. Fuck you and your “Happy Holidays” bullshit, because you know you’re just going to go back to being a self-centered asshole to everyone once it wears off in a few days. You deserve to sleep forever, and I want this album to be the soundtrack to your demise by clicking here.

2 comments:

Sean said...

My only problem with the drugcore bands...and I mean the guys who supposedly did more than blaze...is that life-eating negativity that you mentioned. Honestly, for all the stories "about" say EyeHateGod, well unless you were there in person to see the drugs being consumed, then hey go ahead and concrete-ify those rumors. But I've been around "other" people who did hard drugs, and it sucks MY life out of me. It changes people too drastically, even those who are still benign to others when they consume something that's napalming their brain, there's something I "feel" around these people that is dirty and off. I don't like it, it borders on frightening me sometimes, it even scares the shit out of other ex junkies I know or have met (the people who still need to go to narcanon decades after getting clean). And the violence man...Jesus Christ the VIOLENCE when they've been called out on it! The violence could manifest as chisme alone...but I still don't want any part of it. It's drama and RIDICULOUS behavior. I find that anybody who revels in their slow suicide attempts musically is crying for attention, whether this makes the music more "fun" or not.

Miss Marie said...

You had me at "It's Christmas day and I hate you". ;-*

Fuck Santa and everyone who loves him.

Now, I will have to check out the soundtrack :)