Monday, September 20, 2010

Pro Wrestling Primer: Muraco's Donut Regimen

I don't remember seeing this on TV back in the day, but this was originally broadcast in 1985 just after the inaugural WrestleMania. Led to the ring by the devious Mr. Fuji, the Magnificent Muraco was a staple on WWF television every Sunday afternoon. Although I missed his epic rivalries with Jimmy "Superfly" Snuka, Pedro Morales, and Ricky "The Dragon" Steamboat, I always enjoyed watching him dispatch jobbers with his tombstone piledriver. Despite being a heel, the stoned-out beach bum from Hawaii was okay in my book.

Anyway, this promo is one more reason why I'm a Don Muraco fan. Mean Gene Okerlund is questioning the Magnificent One regarding his training regimen when Muraco breaks out a bunch of powdered donuts and starts chomping away. It's important to watch your diet, and Muraco's diet consist of goddamned lard biscuits. Like pro wrestling's answer to Bluto Blutarsky, Muraco shoves donut after donut down his gullet while explaining the benefits of basing your diet around them. He repeatedly tries to push donuts on Mean Gene, but he'll have none of it. Finally uttering a muffled "ah, the hell with you," Muraco and his box of Dunkin' Donuts walks off. Note the hangover shades.

Bobby "The Brain" Heenan and his charge Ken Patera are up next. It's not often that the Brain is at a loss for words, but he's clearly having a hard time keeping a straight face after witnessing Muraco's antics. When Patera edges into frame and kisses his own bicep, that's enough to send Heenan off camera in which he's clearly busting a gut laughing. His interview itself is phoned in, but he and Okerlund save it at the end with the last two lines.

This wasn't a particularly significant find or anything. Just a silly day at WWF headquarters that made me laugh. Enjoy!

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