Friday, November 4, 2011

Concord's Most Wanted

I’ve heard that there’s some bands out there who are (or were) attempting to make modern hardcore more interesting by affecting some kind of “sketchy” image, which is kinda funny to me. Instead of wasting time on bands who want you to think they’re sketchy and fucked up, let’s look at a band who really was and see if that still sounds appealing to you.

Six Weeks Records thought they were making an antagonistic statement towards the Gilman scene clique when they released their Straight Outta Concord comp in the early ‘90s. For better or worse, the Dead Smurfs seemed to antagonize people wherever they went. They had a reputation for getting thrown out of virtually every show or party they played or attended. Some kind of scene would be made in the process, if not an actual fight. Their demo insert consisted of newspaper clippings regarding fights they’d apparently gotten into where knives were involved. A few of my friends from Concord told stories of ridiculous fights outside of parties with these guys; then I witnessed it myself when members of the Dead Smurfs and their cohorts got into it with an understaffed Gilman security at a Dr. Know gig. Ironic, since bassist Sam McGuire now plays at the club without incident whenever his band Scheisse Minelli is on tour.

As you might guess, the Dead Smurfs’ music played second fiddle to their sordid reputation. Chances are they didn’t get to finish their set when they played live anyway. If you came here expecting nasty, shitty garage hardcore reeking of malt liquor and crystal meth (or crack, if you believe their thank-you list), you’re at the right place. There’s no respect for women, the elderly, city punks, AIDS patients, the obese, or the homeless to be found here. Unfortunately, they’re not a hilarious good time like the Meatmen were back in the day. Tweaked to the gills and saying nasty shit to the bitches, the Dead Smurfs appear to mean harm. Got a problem with that? Bring that shit here, faggot.


Samuel el Action said...

Where did you get this?? I dont even think anyone in the band has one.

The Evil Eye said...

That's funny. I got it from the band (you maybe?) at a show at Lindee's in 1996.

Jerry said...

Umm, I have it hosted on my website.

I don't know whether to feel offended or complimented by this review. Haha! Whatever... we were kids.


Anonymous Victim ;) said...

These A-holes are still at it, threatening to take the lives of Avon ladies across the world.
(video from 4/29/2011 at the Red Hat in Concord)